Children and the Mass

Once you have children, you're able to relate to this entire piece:


(http://www.catholic.net/index.php?option=dedestaca&id=3540)

How many times has the following happened to you?

Your baby or toddler is crying inconsolably at Mass. You look around and you think the entire congregation is giving you a stern stare. The message written on the people´s faces seems to say, "How dare you bring in a distraction to the serious work of the liturgy!" The celebrant gives no hint of hearing anything, but somehow you just know that his entire attention is on the screams. Convinced that the whole world is looking at your child, you plan a way to furtively sneak to the back of the church.

In searching for a way to deal with this problem, my wife, April, and I have discovered two extremely helpful tools. The first is Scripture, which has molded our attitudes toward bringing children to Mass. The second is the discovery of some "child psychology," which helps us to cope with "Mass hysteria."

The Rights of Baptism.

As we struggled with the challenges of bringing our children to Mass, we found two Scripture passages that helped us to see things from a new perspective. The first is the account of how Jesus loved the children:

[T]hey were bringing children to Him, that He might touch them; and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it He was indignant, and said to them, "Let the children come to me, do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it." And He took them in His arms and blessed them, laying His hands upon them (Mk. 10:13-16).

This scene from the life of Jesus demonstrates that He embraces little people as much as big people. From Jesus´ point of view, children are not a distraction to His "real" ministry to adults. He becomes upset when adults keep children away from Him because He wants to bless them too.

The Church frequently refers to this passage when it meditates upon the meaning of infant Baptism, which welcomes children into the family of God. Children are part of the Church today. By baptizing our children we are giving them the right to worship God with us. These children are full-fledged, card-carrying citizens of God´s Kingdom. Therefore, parents are obliged to nourish their children by bringing them to Christ at Mass.

Those Guilty Feelings.

Even though we came to understand that Jesus calls our toddlers to worship every Sunday with us, we still felt guilty about the occasional commotion at church. Before our children were born, we felt free to leave home early and spend some time before Mass in preparation and prayer. Now, just getting there is a major undertaking. Once we get to church our attention is divided between the Mass and our children. We go potty during the readings, intervene in squabbles during the Creed, and chase kids down the pew during the consecration.

We questioned whether we were spiritually benefitting from the Mass because our attention was elsewhere. But God revealed another portrait of Jesus that allayed our concerns: the story of the feeding of the five thousand:

Then [Jesus] ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass; and taking the five loaves and the two fish He looked up to heaven, and blessed, and broke and gave the loaves to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. And they all ate and were satisfied. And they took up twelve baskets full of the broken pieces left over. And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children (Matthew 14:19-21).

We had read this passage many times, but it was not until we had children that we noticed the phrase "besides women and children." All of a sudden this scene took on a fresh meaning. There were families present! Have you ever been in a stadium filled with thousands of families? There is always commotion somewhere. The movement of people standing up and sitting down is punctuated with all sorts of noises. Yet "all ate and were satisfied," not just the 5,000 men. Jesus made sure there was more than enough for those who today would be sitting in the crying room or on "potty duty."

God blessed us with children and He will never ask us to leave our blessing(s) at the door when we enter the church. We are to come to Him as parents. He understands the responsibilities of being a parent and He will not penalize us for carrying out those obligations.

Practical Considerations.

With these Scripture passages in mind we started to rethink our attitudes about bringing our children to Mass. It became obvious that the children´s rightful place is at Mass with us. True, there are still times when they are disruptive and must be removed for the sake of others who want to pray. But in most cases it is easier to manage children if we acknowledge several facts of life and use them to our advantage.

Children will attract attention, even when they are being good.

People will always notice them because, quite simply, all children are adorable and they do cute things. The expectation that they will attract attention should not be a reason for not bringing them to church.

Embarrassing moments often are funny in retrospect and make wonderful memories. Our daughter is a special girl for our deacon because she was the first baby he baptized. Once, she suddenly darted out into the aisle during Mass and flashed her belly button at him. He noticed it and tried very hard to keep from bursting out laughing. It was only by looking away from her he was able to contain himself.

Children do not see the world from an adult perspective.

It is easy to forget that children are short and often the only thing they see is the back of the person sitting in front of them. We sit in front so that the children can get a good view of the action at the altar. It is amazing how much easier it becomes for them to stay in one place for an hour when they can watch what happens in front of them.

Children also differ from adults in how they interpret what they see and hear. This was brought home one day when our three-year-old daughter pointed at the crucifix and exclaimed: "Daddy, Jesus is wearing a bathing suit!" Children, however, can appreciate the words and actions of the liturgy if it is explained to them at their level.

It helps to tie in everyday home life with what happens at Mass. Children may not understand the readings but they know about bedtime stories and about Bible stories. They may not understand the theology of the Eucharist as a sacrificial meal but they do know what food is. They can relate to setting the table, washing hands, bringing the food, saying a blessing, eating, and clearing the table. Other things they are familiar with are lighting candles, singing songs, and making the Sign of the Cross.

Children are naturally curious.

Children absorb all the wonderful sights and sounds that surround them. Walking through a church can offer innumerable teachable moments. Every object in a church has a reason for being there. Occasionally come to church early and make a game of finding and naming various sacred objects. Look for the baptismal font, the sanctuary light, the dove above the altar, and the crucifix. See what new items you can find. Tell stories about the people, places, or events depicted in the statues, stained glass windows, and paintings. Obtain permission to visit the sanctuary, vesting room, or choir loft.

Once going to church becomes an enjoyable learning experience, it becomes more interesting for the children. Their awareness of their surroundings is expanded and they have a greater variety of things to hold their attention during the liturgy.

Children learn from their parents.

Parents are the primary role models. If you are enthusiastic about going to Mass, the children will quickly absorb the enthusiasm. It is important to keep in mind that by going to church you are not simply going to a large building with pews. You are showing an intense and personal relationship with your Creator that your children will want to imitate. The reason you go to church should not be "for the children´s sake," but to meet Jesus. Therefore, it is the parents´ responsibility to first meet Christ in the Mass before they can model this relationship for their children. This relationship with God is simply the most important gift parents can offer their children.

It is imperative to make Sundays special. Dress up a little and make it a point to have the family spend time together. In our house, we create a sense of anticipation by reminding our children during the week that it will soon be Sunday. We also relate the Mass to things happening during the week. For example, during the mealtime blessing we remind them that we also talk to God at church.

When we were new parents, there were times we dreaded going to Mass as a family. Now we see these moments as times of grace for all of us. This is the time when we nurture the habits our children will bring into their adult lives. Someday, in the not-too-distant future, they will make their baptismal vows on their own. Not long after that, they may have their own families.

By coming together for Mass as a family today, we are discovering what it means to be followers of Christ in the family of God.

Emil Berendt lives in North Plainfield, New Jersey.

This article is reprinted with permission from the March 1998 issue of Lay Witness, the publication of Catholics United for the Faith (CUF).

Whores of Babylon some call us...

July 25, 2008 - Philadelphia

"When I was a young Protestant, I thought to myself, 'either the Catholic Church is right or they're wrong. If Christ is really in the Eucharist as they claim, I owe it to myself to find out, especially since if they are right, I'm missing out on a whole lot of benefits of receiving Christ into my body. And if I find they're wrong, well then they're the biggest idolaters known to man.'"

Peter Kreeft
Professor of Philosophy - Boston College

Reflection on Matthew 8:5-11

Jesus expresses amazement at the faith of the centurion - a faith that came from his understanding of the relationship between authority and obedience. His soldiers obeyed him because he was obedient to Caesar and therefore he had the entire weight of the Roman Empire behind his commands. The centurion saw that Jesus had supernatural authority. It came from his obedience to God the Father. For the centurion, the link between obedience and authority was obvious.

We live in confusing times when many are losing their faith. They listen to the world and ask, "Why doesn't the Church change this or that teaching?" Some seem to think that the Church's teachings should be decided by a poll. But the Church is the Body of Christ and it is under authority. It must be obedient to God. It can't make up new teachings or change old ones. If it did, it would lose its authority and become one opinion among many.

Before we receive communion we remember the words of the centurion: "Lord, I am not worthy." We can receive this marvelous gift because the priest has the authority to change ordinary bread into the Blessed Sacrament. He has the authority because the Church has the authority to ordain priests. This authority comes from obedience.

Dale O'Leary

"The One Up Above"

What does that mean when we refer to the "one up above?" Conventional wisdom would say the person is talking about their God. Well, how can we know this God is up above and not below, behind, or in front? Why do we say this? I say it. When thanking God, I look up. When in doubt, I look up. I don't look down. I don't turn around and talk to the back of my chair - that's for certain. Rightfully, I could look at anything and thank God - for God is through, with, and in everything we see (all that is good and has come to be).

So, how did this come about?

I wondered about this during Adoration this afternoon. People say God is above them and the evil one below them. Is this absolutely true? I assume we say this because we look at the hierarchy of creation and so we think of the King of Creation as being above us. Are peasants ever above the King? Certainly not. So with God above us, satan must be beneath us, right? I beg to differ.

Satan can never be beneath us unless we make a concerted effort to keep him there. Walk around the city, notice him among our brothers and sisters - in false prophets, "adult" book stores, "planned" parenthoods, etc. Is he ever below us? Never. He is among us and in fact sometimes (and maybe a lot of times, and sadly) above us, replacing our Creator. When we put ourselves, money, fame, debauchery before God, satan takes His place above us - where he wants to reign forever.

So my brothers and sisters, be mindful of He who should be above you and he who should be beneath you. Our God only wants happiness for us. He has sent many a prophet to speak to us about getting closer to him and letting us know how much he loves us. The Bible is a Book of Love - intimate love. This God who created everything - even us - asks for our love so we can join him in paradise for eternity. We're far from him, but He gave us the Way back. There is absolute Truth and it came in the form of a man. God so loved the world...

He gives us the path and sheds his grace upon us to get closer to him to enthrone him on our heart's mantle. In our Exodus from Egypt, he gave us manna for the journey. Our new Exodus is from eternal damnation and our new manna is his only Son in the Most Holy Eucharist. We eat this new Bread and we're filled with so much grace. Why does God continually give us his love? How do we deserve any of it?

That is true love.

He wants us to return home. We're not destined for earthly residence, but the Heavenly Jerusalem. We know no better, but our Father continues to give us grace so we make it home. We are all Prodigal Sons, but we won't find true happiness and our heart's delight until we allow His love to penetrate our darkened souls.

We must never lose sight of the fact that we are either Saints or outcasts, that we must love for Heaven or for Hell; there is no middle path in this.

- St. John Vianney

Body and Blood

I previously examined the effects of "consuming" something. In coming to that conclusion, I reflected upon what occurs when we consume Christ in the Most Blessed Sacrament.

As human beings, we could say that we're 50% from our father and 50% from our mother - give or take some percent based on physical traits, etc.
We could also say the same for Christ, even though he was 100% human and 100% divine.

We know his biological mother was Mary and his biological father was the Holy Spirit.
Since the Spirit was not "flesh" - the flesh of the Holy Trinity being Christ - could we then say that Christ, for all intents and purposes, is biologically Mary; that his DNA, blood type, etc., is solely derived from his mother?

In these assumptions, when we receive the Body of Christ, are we not also receiving the Mother of God, Mary Most Holy?
If at some time we didn't exist, but needed our mother and father to become "one" so that we could come into existence, then we can establish that we in fact inherit the genetic make-up of our parents.

And is it not so with our Redeemer?
As if it's not enough to receive all the graces we do when receiving the Eucharist, we also receive Mary. The Son of God and the Mother of God literally dwell within us. How beautiful and most assuring that not only do we literally become the Son and Mother of Man, but as they are in the Father, we also become what we were destined for: divinity.


And so my inaudible prayer during the Consecration has been:

Flesh and Blood of Mary
Spirit of God
Come to me
Remain in me
Transform me.

An Intimate Encounter with God

To say I've been slacking is an understatement.
To the Pentecostals in Ohio and the "good Deacon" from South Philly, who so graciously bring this to my attention often, I do apologize. It has been too long, my dear brothers in Christ.

In response, I offer a quick reflection.
This morning as I walked to work, I noticed a woman carrying a tote bag with print on it. The print read: "I had an 'Intimate Encounter' with God in 2007" - I assume it referred to a conference or seminar she attended this year. Immediately I felt a closeness to these words as I too had an intimate encounter with God, only it was this morning at Mass (Liturgy of the Word/Liturgy of the Eucharist).

I thought about the word intimate. Intimate can be defined as, "having, or being likely to cause, a very close friendship or personal or sexual relationship."

Well, we can have an intimate (personal) relationship/encounter with God in many ways: We can pray to Him, sit in silence and let Him speak to us, or we can meditate on His Word.
For the purpose of this entry, I will examine how we can have a intimate (sexual) relationship/encounter as well. (Yes I know...just bear with me.)

We first learn of a sexual relationship/encounter in the Book of Genesis, Chapter 1, Verse 28, when God says: "Be fertile and multiply" and in Genesis 2:24: "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body."
As St. Paul later tells us in his Letter to the Ephesians 5:29-32, he refers to that "one body" or "one flesh" as the union of Christ to the Church. That one flesh (intimate relationship/encounter) must be a physical union, either between husband and wife or between Christ and His Church (one of the great mysteries).

What happens when we consume food and digest it (a physical action)? Well, it biologically becomes part of us, hence the phrase "You are what you eat." I physically become what I eat, whether it's proteins, fats, or complex sugars.


So, in defining and examining the word intimate, I too had an intimate (in the fullest sense of the word!) encounter with the Living God this morning at Mass when I consumed His Son's flesh and blood.



May the peace of Christ dwell in you richly.